Speaking the language of business intelligence with an Australian accent

Thursday, March 9, 2006

BSM - An alternate marketing campaign?

August last year seems so long ago, that's when we attended the Business Scorecard Manager airlift in Redmond. Something that always stuck in my head was Microsoft's Oudi Antebi imploring attendees to please refer to the new product as Business Scorecard Manager or BSM or just Scorecard Manager... anything but BS Manager. This got a good laugh from the attendees as we all exchanged ideas with the person next to us as to what kind of marketing blurb we could think up for a product with that name. I have been meaning to blog about this ever since I saw Chris Webb's OLAP Joke post later on that month. So, here are a few catch phrases, slogans, thoughts etc. for BS Manager. If you've got some to contribute to the list please make liberal use of the comments.

  • Did you know that some of the most successful companies in the world are managed using complex, well thought-out BS?
  • Do you think your current KPIs are BS? They're not, but you need this product to turn them into real BS
  • All companies should use some form of BS to manage their operation
  • Is a developer who designs & builds a particularly good-looking set of scorecards a BS artist?
  • Make sure you apply appropriate security - you don't want people looking at BS they're not supposed to
  • BS helps monitor how your company is performing
  • Do your metrics stink? Use BS Manager to turn them into something that smells (a little) better
  • Many companies have some BS, but not nearly enough to be successful
  • Research shows that CEOs want more BS these days
  • From the CEO: "The board would like you to present the latest BS at the next quarterly meeting"
  • Got BS?
  • Use this product to create BS objectives
  • Deploy to the company intranet so all employees can keep up with the latest BS
  • BS on demand!
  • Use custom icons to emphasise, and give meaning to, your BS
  • The product is flexible enough to provide personalised BS to each and every team member
  • Use the toolbar to filter and sort your BS

2 comments:

Chris Webb said...

Or, controversially:
Have you seen the latest BI tool from Microsoft? It's BS!

Anonymous said...

Nick what a great post - thanks for the laugh! :)

Samb